10.06.2009

2 Weeks 5 Days (and some photos)

Lillian Rose was born on September 17, 2009 (6lbs 2.8oz, 20.5 inches) fourteen hours after I was admitted to the hospital due to a drop in her heart rate at our 41 week NST.

A brief breakdown of the labor:

Sept 16 - NST at doctors office showed a decrease in the baby's heart rate and I was sent immediately to the hospital for further monitoring.

2 hours later they broke my water and started pitocin. Baby didn't respond well to pitocin, so they stopped the pitocin and let me dilate naturally to 9 cm after lots of walking, moving, swaying, screaming, and seriously painful contractions. I received an epidural around 7cm at approximently 3:30am. I dilated to 9cm and then the doctor determined it was time to re-start pitocin to get the baby out ASAP, or send me for an emergency c-section.

Lillian was positioned in my birth canal sideways with her cord wrapped around her neck. My cervix didn't center well and it was difficult to push her completely out, so she was delivered with forceps (which caused me to hurt like non other when I was recovering...).

Lillian's pediatrician was thankfully present during the entire 45 minutes that I pushed during delivery. She immediately took her to observe and placed her on oxygen. She determined that Lillian looked "Low tone" and after letting me hold her and talk to her, they took her off to the special care nursery. I had no idea what a roller coaster ride we were in for at this point.

A breakdown of Lillian's first 13 days in the hospital:

- Born Thursday September 17, 2009 at 8:32am
- IV placed in her belly button and given oxygen
- Friday I got to change her diaper for the first time in the special care nursery
- She was given a CT scan (which came back clear) and they placed an IV in her head. She was also taken off oxygen and able to take in room air.
- Saturday Lillian took her first helicopter ride to Riley Hospital in Indianapolis and placed on a feeding tube. I was absolutely devastated when they took her.
- When we arrived at the NICU for the first time, we found her laying in her warmer sucking on a pacifier (for the first time). Her nurse was Kristen and we absolutely loved that nurse!
- Sunday was the first day my milk came in. Lillian remained monitored in the NICU and we learned how to care for her during her feedings and check ups.
- Monday was her first bath and I was allowed to breast feed her for the first time. She also got her MRI that night, which came back clear.
- Tuesday was the first day we put a full outfit on her. It was pink with polka dots and absolutely adorable!
- Wednesday was the first time we heard her cry since the delivery. We were bathing her on the scale after weighing her, and she flailed her arms and let out a wail. We were happy to hear her sweet cry! This was also the first time I had ever seen her yawn.
- Thursday was the first attempt at bottle feeding. This did not go well. We met the Developmental Pediatrician and she determined we would not be feeding Lillian by mouth until she passes her swallow study in November.
- Friday Lillian was given hand splints for her wrists. We were trained on her Apnea monitor, trained in CPR, learned how to place her feeding tube, and I was able to breastfeed with a nipple shield (to monitor how much she was able to get).
- Saturday Lillian passed her car seat and hearing tests. Phil placed her tube for the first time - it was also the first time we had ever seen her cry with real tears... heartbreaking.
- Sunday I had to place Lillian's feeding tube again, never fun. Luckily we had our favorite nurse back for the weekend, Kristen.
- Monday Lillian found her fingers. She likes to suck on her hand when she's hungry now.
- Tuesday Lillian had a Sleep Study, which did not go well, but luckily they are letting us take her home anyway since she will be on the monitor.
- Wednesday we FINALLY took her home.

I know that's a lot of random information, but it's nice to keep track of the time we spent in the NICU. So far all of her genetic tests, urine screens, brain scans, and other blood work have come back clear, but her general diagnosis is Hypotonia or "Floppy Baby". We may never know what's caused her condition or if it's going to be a life long struggle for her to move and coordinate her muscles, but what we do know is every day she seems to get stronger and stronger.

We have high hopes for Lillian and intend to have her involved in Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy as well as Speech Therapy to help with her condition. She continues to be fed through a tube at home, but we are praying for her to pass her Swallow Study in early November so we can start to feed her either by bottle or breast.

For anyone that's actually gotten through this post - I give you a gold star :)

Thanks to everyone that has kept us and Lillian in your thoughts and prayers. We ask for continued prayers for Lillian that she can recover from this condition and be able to meet the milestones of her peers with continued physical therapy and lots of love and patience from her biggest fans (us).


9.12.2009

40+ weeks... still pregnant




*How far along?: 40 Weeks
*Total weight gain: Still 18lbs from pre-pregnancy weight
*How big is baby?: Around 7lbs -7.5lbs hopefully
*Maternity clothes?: I'm mainly in pjs and maternity clothes
*Sleep?: Having a really tough time falling asleep and then staying asleep.
*Best moment this week?: Probably the pedicure I got today.
*Movement?: She's kicking my ribs right now. I think she's confused on which way is out.
*Food cravings?: Creamy pie
*Labor signs?: I'm still having some twinges and pains, but nothing exciting. My boobs have really been hurting today.
*Belly button in or out?: Still the same.
*What I miss: Falling asleep without laying awake for hours first, staying asleep, and sleeping on my stomach.
*What I'm looking forward to: Going into labor or at least being dilated more than .5cm on Monday at our next appointment.
*Milestone: Making it past my due date.

9.07.2009

Laundry Day: Cloth Diapers

Cloth Diaper Storage
Inserts

Pockets

AIO's

BumGenius Organic One Size AIO

BumGenius One Size Pockets, Happy Heinys Pockets, Monkey Snuggles Pockets, Blueberry Pocket Diapers


COVERS

Bummies Cover

Etsy Seller Crazywonderful

Etsy Seller Olivejanes

Thirsties Covers


Random Diapers - Fitteds & AIO's

Etsy Seller Whamykidz (AIO)

Thirsties Fitteds

Etsy Seller qtbunns (AIO)

Muttaqin One Size

Etsy Seller Sparkliestar83: DiapeyDooDiaper Fitteds

24 Unbleached Prefolds

39 Weeks

Telling Maisie to talk her cousin out of my belly:


Maisie sending her left over labor vibes:


*How far along?: 39 Weeks

*Total weight gain: Still 18lbs from pre-pregnancy weight

*How big is baby?: Around 7lbs -7.5lbs hopefully

*Maternity clothes?: I'm mainly in pjs and maternity clothes

*Sleep?: It happens.

*Best moment this week?: Celebrating Labor Day at our neighborhood cookout.

*Movement?: Not so much. She moves, but the space is tight.

*Food cravings?: Mainly just craving drinks; Apple Cider, water, lemonade, tea, coffee, etc.

*Labor signs?: I have some twinges and aches, but no real signs that I know of (unless being impatient, exhausted, and irritable are labor signs...)

*Belly button in or out?: Still the same.

*What I miss: My body just being mine.

*What I'm looking forward to: Our 40 week Dr. appointment is tomorrow and hopefully I'll get some good news.

*Milestone: Every day feels like one big. giant. milestone.

8.30.2009

New Worries

As Lillian gets bigger and her due date draws closer, I can't help but find myself in a constant state of worry about her health, giving birth, and all the possibilities that can arise with a new baby.

I'm worried that she will not make it to her due date. I'm absolutely terrified that something will happen between now and then that takes her life from me. I worry that if she does make it, something will go wrong with the labor and the doctors will rush her out of the room and I'll be left there not knowing what's happening and if she's OK. I'm worried that if we have a good delivery and stay at the hospital, we'll take her home and then wake up to find her not breathing because of something they missed in the hospital, or something that didn't show up in the ultrasounds. I just keep playing all of the possibilities over and over in my mind and every day pray that my water will break so we can have her here with us and do everything we can to keep her safe.

I realize these are all things that I shouldn't be stewing over in my mind. It can't be healthy to be in a constant state of anxiety but it's so hard to not think about the reality of how fragile life is, and how quickly it can be taken from us.

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