Do you hear that?  Huh?  I SURRENDER.  To whoever it is that decided they wanted to attack my email account and my facebook account simultaneously and change the passwords so I couldn't access them, I surrender.  You win.  I'm official throwing my hands up and saying I'M DONE.  

To the one who shall remain nameless who has been terrorizing my family since Christmas... I surrender to you too.  You win.  You win the biggest asshole award.  Congratulations.  You may join the facebook/email stealer jerk in the group of  "Mean people that are trying to bring the world down one measly person at a time."

To the person at Office Depot that claimed they rid my computer of all viruses in two hours and then charged me the amount of money it takes to feed my family in two weeks, only to have the same virus pop up 3 days later and then my email and facebook hacked into...  I surrender to you - join the other two.  You all win. In fact, you're all the next Charlie Sheen.  You're all  #WINNING hard core.  Pat yourselves on the back.

To the ones who didn't win, but earn an honorable mention for trying:

All I wanted was to find a Grape/Cranberry Juice. JUST Grape and Cranberry.  Every "Grape Cranberry" juice I found in the store - including organic and natural juice brands had this fine print...  "Blended with another juice." You will not win this.  My cravings are bigger than you.  Even if I have to buy simple grape juice and simple cranberry juice and mix them together to get what I want, you still don't win.  And yes, I will be drinking it in a wine glass because when you're pregnant, even ice water tastes better in a wine glass. 

Screw you Electrolux Ergorapido Ulta.  You do not suck adequately.  If it weren't for the fact that you were a Christmas gift from my Mother-In-Law, I would throw you in the trash. My floors deserve better and my nesting instincts will win this battle.  I'm sick of courting you only to find that the low maintenance broom and dustpan cleans my kitchen floor better.

To the Keurig I once loved.  We had such a great relationship.  You were prompt and cheery and giving for over a year.  But then you stopped brewing a full cup of coffee.  In fact now you don't brew anything at all.  Don't think I'm letting you off that easy, you're in this relationship for the long haul.  We can patch this up I'm sure.  XOXOXO


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