Life

Oh life. Sometimes it would be nice to just have some peace. We are so blessed to have this baby, I just want to make sure it has a life filled with the least amount of drama possible.

My grandma on my dad's side passed away. The funeral is Wednesday, and I have so much anxiety going into it. My husband has never met that side of my family and I was hoping my dad wouldn't be there, but just found out that he is already there. My grandmas death was so unexpected, we didn't even know she had cancer. The family said that she was supposed to be done with chemo, and she wasn't supposed to die. She was going to come visit us in February with my aunt. I haven't seen her since 2002 and didn't expect this to be the end. She was only 67.

I can't decide if I want to tell my dad I'm pregnant. I've done everything to forget him and to keep him out of my life. It's not hard, he wouldn't come around anyway. I just don't want him to know what he's missing. I don't want him to meet my husband. I don't want him to see that I'm happy because he doesn't deserve to feel like he had any part in it. He didn't raise me and all he ever brought was sadness and inconsistency.

If there is anything I want for my baby, it's a happy family. I want it to feel loved and cared for and to never question it's own self worth. I want it to know that no matter what it can always rely on us and we will be there through the good times and the bad as loving supportive parents. We'll be there for the first steps, the first words, the first day of school, the first sports games, the first love, the first heartbreak, the first apartment, graduation day, wedding day, each birthday of their own children and everything in between.

It's only Monday and I can tell this is going to be a long week.